On Turning 40

Last December 18, 2018, I turned 40. It was an ordinary day, much like any other except for one thing. I realized that it was time for a change.

I don’t know why turning 40 seemed more significant than my previous birthdays but events leading to that may have paved the road to make my journey more meaningful than it ever was before.

In 2018, I finally got to be transferred to a school nearer to my residence. I also transferred my daughter to the same school. This now meant spending more time with her and learning more about her.

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As 2018 slowly passed, I gained new friends (Hello, Team Ugmeme!) and forged deeper friendships with my bestfriends (Jen, Gracielle and Mia) and the Olyotz gang.

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While celebrating my birthday, I learned how love has snuck up on friends and although I was intrigued by the circumstances of how they met, I was not entirely uninterested.

Thus, a new resolve was born.

2019 will be the year I will put myself out there and grab the chance to live and love.

Therefore, my one true love must have all of those on my list. Here’s my list:

  1. He must be older than me.
  2. He must love and fear God.
  3. He must be financially secure, have a stable job or income, steadfast and loyal.
  4. He must be taller than me.
  5. He must be a good man.
  6. He must be a good father and a family man.
  7. He must love, know, respect and honor me.
  8. He must be attractive (to me, anyway).
  9. He is my best friend and my best love.
  10. He has a soul that knows my soul.

Somehow, after having this list, I feel that whoever is out there for me will eventually find me.

This is as clear-cut as it can get. There will be a few snakes out there but I know God will look out for me.

Have a wonderful 2019 to all of us! Cheers!

Let Love Find You

 

so true!

Love has been elusive yet something even I yearn for. As an avid reader of love stories, my head has been filled with thousand of scenarios of how love would eventually enter my world once more. However, I have long abandoned those illusions. In reality, putting yourself out there is pretty much it. Then you have to tackle the dating scene and meet nice people and not so nice people in the process.

It all sounds so boring, but that’s how it is.

And I like it that way.

I like that my friends would set me up or recommend guys instead of me, striking it out on my own. The meeting of a perfect stranger had its appeal but when that stranger turns out to be a weirdo, you’ll be running for the hills and whacking your head at the same time, thanking God that the guy didn’t rape you, kill you or rob you after the date.

I think I’m just old. Those chance meetings and instant attraction kind of beginnings have lost their appeal. So there does come a certain point in your life that you just want a safe and comfortable relationship wherein you start off as friends and take off from there.

So I keep myself entertained with love stories and I still think of how my own love story would begin. Would it be just like that in the book? Or would it be totally as common as anyone else’s?

Whichever way, I would be glad if love finds me again. Loving someone and being loved by someone is still the best thing. It enriches who you are and makes you a better person. It would surely make life more interesting and challenging. It could be the best love story I have read.

Thought bubble

When people say you don’t like a person because he/she irks you or you find them creepy, why do they insist that you like them? Can’t it be that you just find them creepy? or weird? 

I know that most romantic novels begin that the heroine somehow dislikes the hero but then because of underlying tension, they get to connect somehow and hook up.

Sadly, in real life, the heroine just finds the guy irritating. 

Here’s the deal-breaker  should you have several guys you don’t like and have basically catered them to the “friendzone”, does this mean you really really like them or you truly dislike them?

I’m totally dreading an upcoming social event because I’m pretty sure someone will try to do the unthinkable and try to flirt with me and all I would be secretly doing is find ways on how to be polite and not display disgust.

In conclusion, I realized that if and when I do like a guy, I develop a crush on him. That’s basically it. If I don’t like a guy, one way or another, he would know it. 

Story of my non-existent love life. 

The Right Relationship

I told someone yesterday about my failed relationships and it suddenly dawned to me that all the while I was telling myself that they were the wrong men for me, I was also the wrong girl for them.

That was why it didn’t work out.

Now, instead of looking for the “right guy” for me, I decided that I should do my best to be the “right girl” for someone.

I start a new chapter in my life, not in search of a relationship but in search of becoming the best “me” that I can be.

Ironically, although I voiced this stand to my peers, they replied that it also can’t be helped if a relationship goes looking for me.

Meh.

My Non-existent Social Life and Love Life

My current status of being single came to be the topic of the week. I found out that some people find it odd that I don’t have a boyfriend or a husband yet.

Here’s why:

  1. I don’t meet anybody new.
  2. The places I go would be the dance studio, my relatives’ homes and shopping malls.
  3. No one asks me out.
  4. If someone does, they are not single so obviously, I decline going out with them.
  5. I’m partially scared to start dating again.

So I tell myself that maybe God has other plans for me and yes, the right man will find me. I still believe in falling in love and happily ever after. But they all think that I should start dating again to get that dream.

Yeah, I really should.