The Inspired Medium

For the past few days, I have accepted the fact that I’m crushing on someone. It’s nothing serious and nothing will definitely happen to make it anymore than a crush. However, I’m super thankful that I have one. He is no one special except for the fact that I get super happy to see him and be with him. I don’t actually go looking for ways to see him but it just so happens that our paths do cross once in a while. When it does, I feel giddy like hell. 

Having a crush has its ups and downs but the thrill of the other person not knowing how he makes you happy is kind of pleasant in its own way. Ironic, isn’t it? The real score is I don’t even want to let him know that I am crushing on him. It would make things complicated and I pretty much like it this way.It’s safer and when it eventually dies a natural death, there would be no one else who would know it but me and a select few.

So for the last two weeks, I have been floating in the air and have been feeling all the usual turmoil of dread and excitement when I see him. It’s super fun!!! I love this feeling.

The last time I felt like this, I nearly asked the guy out. But true to my cowardly nature, I backed out and nursed my crush in secret until it went away and he hooked up with another girl. 

Oh well. Life’s like that. 

I don’t know what’s going to happen next week or next month but I will never forget how awesome it is to have a crush and be all inspired to look good everytime we might possibly meet. I sing songs of pining and longing and it’s all good. I got so inspired that I even got to making a melody for our psalm today. Having a crush really moves me to start singing and writing love songs. This is good! For all you know, I might as well write a new short story to accommodate my bubbly thoughts of him and me!

Crushes, you are all so underrated. You have probably inspired me and others more than you’ll ever know.-Crush-quotes-37014054-500-375

A Man for God or for me?

I attended a recollection and it was great. I met one of the facilitators who was in his seventh year in the seminary. Cute and intelligent. I pretty much liked him instantly. Sadly, he was meant for God. I think. 

Unless, of course, he decides to simply give in to the idea of having a family and a new love instead of serving God. 

I wish. 

The wistful part was that I think he liked me back. 


Thought bubble

When people say you don’t like a person because he/she irks you or you find them creepy, why do they insist that you like them? Can’t it be that you just find them creepy? or weird? 

I know that most romantic novels begin that the heroine somehow dislikes the hero but then because of underlying tension, they get to connect somehow and hook up.

Sadly, in real life, the heroine just finds the guy irritating. 

Here’s the deal-breaker  should you have several guys you don’t like and have basically catered them to the “friendzone”, does this mean you really really like them or you truly dislike them?

I’m totally dreading an upcoming social event because I’m pretty sure someone will try to do the unthinkable and try to flirt with me and all I would be secretly doing is find ways on how to be polite and not display disgust.

In conclusion, I realized that if and when I do like a guy, I develop a crush on him. That’s basically it. If I don’t like a guy, one way or another, he would know it. 

Story of my non-existent love life. 

A Crush On You

they say that when it hits you

it almost always takes your breath away

in your eyes i could see

one mess of gorgeous chaos

and i was lost in them

i can settle crushing on you

day by day

we can stay friends

i’ll keep this all in

but if there’s a chance

that you might like me

i would gladly risk my heart to feel again

you confuse me

you entice me

i can’t help getting mesmerized by you

could have been working

could have been sleeping

but all i can do is think of you

i can save you

and you can save me

we just might have forever after all.

Secret Crush

For a moment there, the identity of my crush was nearly divulged. My friend, whom I reprimanded over the phone, deleted his comment about it.

I don’t really want to alienate my crush. I like knowing that he treats me the way he had before and I’m the only one who has all these feelings for him. I don’t really notice anything odd on the way he acts around me so I’m assuming that he’s unaffected by it all.

My fear is that when he realizes that I like him, he might start to avoid me. Ugh. So the plan is to continue crushing on him as long as his identity is kept secret.

I wish he would get a crush on me too, though. That would be wonderful. But honestly, I don’t know how to deal with that scenario if that happens. The operative word here is “if”.