My Guy

I want to be vague. Cryptic even. Yet I can’t.

I met someone online. It’s totally clichΓ© coz it seemed something I would find endearing in a romance novel.

With the prevalent stories of online scams, you would think I would be scared to venture into the online dating world again.

Thankfully, I took the risk. Grabbed the chance to try one more time.

I can now declare that 2019 was a year full of blessings. Travel, dating and making new friends have made it extremely memorable.

I did encounter a slump from the dating and it was alright. I got to spend time with friends and family instead.

As I slowly made my way back into opening myself to new possibilities, I also found myself having fun and learning what it was I truly wanted when it comes to love.

I soon came to know a man who seeks a second chance at life and at love. What I knew on his dating profile were the basics. As we started conversing, I learned to know him.

They say that love comes at the right time with the right person. I believe this is true. Some people we have met and fallen in love with at certain point of our lives were exactly the people we needed at that time.

Yet we all change. Some for the better and some for worse. Thus some people becomes only a chapter in our own lives.

However, some people are meant to stay and become more than a chapter. They get to embed themselves into your life that they also help you write a whole new book.

My Guy, he’s had that. Something like that is rare and special. On the other hand, I have never had that.

I have been a chapter in some other person’s book and those were experiences that taught me a lot. As I continue to write my own story with God’s wisdom and guidance, I now face this new chapter.

I don’t want him to be a chapter though. There is that. I want it all. And I know I’ll have it all this year.

My Guy may not know it, but I have claimed him to be mine.

So, nothing official but I can clearly state that my heart is taken and clearly unavailable to anyone except for My Guy.

Missing Chikki

Dearest Echik,

Happy birthday!

I know you’re well. You’re with Jesus and truly happy with Him.

I’m writing to tell you that I miss you. I miss you so much.

A lot of things have happened and some of those things, I need your guidance and advice.

I will not write it here because I know you know what I mean.

Liam is growing up well. You can thank Josh and Chongee for that. They look out for him and care for him. Of course, only you can love him the best.

When we were there in Manila, I did my best to shower him with all the love you would have wanted him to feel. He’s a great kid, Chik. You should be proud.

He takes after you. He’s so tall. He’s now 4 ft and 9 inches at 9 years old. 2 more inches and we will have the same height.

I just want you to know that I miss you. Please continue to look after our family, especially Mommy.

I think that I’m liking someone and I hope you’ll look into his heart and find out for me if we are a match. I guess it is something we both failed to experience, the love of a good man. So I don’t know if this is a chance for me to have that for both of us.

I miss you. I know you will be the first to tell me if I’m being weird about the things happening or if I should just surrender it all to God. I’m sorry your older sister simply can’t leave it alone. This is why I still look to you for advice.

Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being there for me always.

Happy birthday, my Chikki.

Love,

Ate Jing

A Summer of Art, Family and Friends

Our summers in Manila has always been unforgettable. This summer, in particular, was one I have to write about. I thoroughly enjoyed it because we did a lot of things that I loved.

Like most summer days, the kids and I stayed at home. We watched movies, swam and simply spent time together. We also developed a love for going to the arcade.

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Cayenne, Tajmahal and me. πŸ™‚

When my best friend Taj and her daughter Cayenne went to visit, we reenacted what they did the last time the three kids were together. They danced.

Later on, we went to Tom’s World and played one of their games which really placed a dent in my pocket. However, it was worth it. We all had fun and simply had a great time together.

The kids also went swimming and simply played together while Taj and I talked and talked.

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It was a wonderful time spent with my beautiful single mom friend. Yes, she is still single. Just like me! πŸ™‚ Don’t wonder why because we also don’t know why nobody is interested in us! We are awesome! Hahahaha!

As I mentioned before, we played some games and quizzes on the TV and here are some results of my answers. I was very satisfied with them because it described me perfectly!

On a special day, we also visited my sister Anna Carmela. I miss her very much. She really was the best among us. She was so strong, kind and generous. She was a beautiful person and how I wish she was still here with us. However, I know she lives in our hearts. Forever.

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The siblings. Complete.

Now, painting is something I love doing. When I do have the time, I like getting lost in the world of colors and imagination. This time, my sister Monina showed us a cute way of painting over Pokemon cards. So here are some of our artwork.

 

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Above: Painted by Heaven and Liam

Below: Painted by me

I really had fun doing these things with them. Family time is really something to treasure. Memories that we create remind us that our lives should be lived with love, laughter and joy.

My first LinkedIn article

I should not be too proud but it’s my first article after such a long time. I wrote this to get it off my chest. I noticed that my boss was having a hard time with my colleagues. It came to a point that there was a rumored signature campaign that went on to replace him.

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So this article is for my boss and to other leaders having a difficult time managing their employees.

Do give it some love.

Thanks in advance!

 

Do you know what I did last summer?

Summer for me officially began after school ended last April 5, 2019. The next two weeks was grueling hard work of preparing evidences that I actually did do my job. Don’t ask me why the government doesn’t trust us because I have been doing this for 5 years already.

The 3rd week of April marked my intense visa application for the United States. After finally setting up an appointment for May, I packed my bags (as well as my daughter’s) and we flew to Manila.

As planned, we decided to stay there until 3rd week of May.

Our first outing as a family was watching Avengers: Endgame. I went in the movie house with extremely high expectations. You can’t really blame me because I thoroughly enjoyed the Infinity Wars. So you can just imagine my extreme disappointment over the movie.

It was horrible. In my humble opinion, they really botched up the movie. Seriously.

With so many awesome characters in the Avengers, they decided Iron Man should be the one to make it all right? Plus they killed Natasha. Then they made the Hulk a wimp. Don’t get me started on Thor. Come on, he’s a god. They really couldn’t make him look as hot as he should in a snap?

I actually don’t want to write about this but seeing the furor over how spectacular the movie has died down, I am now brave enough to admit that I didn’t like the movie all that much.

However, my time with my siblings and my daughter was simply great. We had Dairy Queen afterwards to soothe our feelings of sorrow.

The following days also saw me jump into the pool more than once. Since I was the only adult on vacation, I was tasked to entertain and watch over the kids. I had a grand time with them. I also tried to work on my tan but it was hopeless.

Another thing that made our vacation memorable was when I met up with my close friend Philip and his family. We reintroduced Heaven and Corvin to each other and of course, also my young brother Liam became friends with Corvin.

We ate at this place called Vanilla Cupcake Bakery. The kids had a blast while Philip, his wife Jane and I also bonded. It was a fun-filled night and it was followed with a play date over the weekend. The kids reunited and once more had a superb time with each other.

I also got to visit my cousin Kats and her son Koen. We went to Nail Tropics for a foot spa and later on, to Starbucks for some coffee. It was a short visit but it was better than nothing. The kids could not stop talking about Roblux and Fortnite.

This is but the first leg of what I did last summer. Until my next post. Ciao!

The birds and the bees

I was browsing through several parenting blogs and sites and came upon this article about how this parent handled “the sex talk” with her son.

Sigh. I m dreading that same moment. It occurred to me that I do have to prepare myself when the time comes my daughter of 9 years will ask me about it.

So far, she graduated from shouting “eeewww” when she sees couples kiss to watching YouTube videos where made up characters from Gacha Life have boyfriends and deal with boyfriend crisis. It was so easy when she was little and now I’m positive she will soon ask me about the birds and the bees and I am partly thinking of several excuses of avoiding that talk.

I admit that I still treat her like a baby. I don’t even refer to her reproductive organ as a vagina. I still use the baby talk name I gave when she was little (we call it “pot”; whatever, sue me). Really, kids should stay babies aged 1 for 5 years before they start growing up.

I am thinking that I will most likely use the encyclopedia we have here at home for proper illustration on the parts of the reproductive system of both male and female. I have no idea how to talk about the copulation part but maybe I can delay that for another 10 years.

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On the road of life

Last March, I received an unexpected call from my sister. She tearfully told me that our mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer.

I was numb with shock and as tears rolled down my face I felt fear grip my heart.

I can’t lose my mom. No. Not yet.

The days following the news was a blur. When I spoke to her, she was crying and apologizing for what has happened. I told her that it was not her fault, that life is really like that. We are given new challenges and obstacles to overcome so that we can become stronger and better people afterwards. This is but another boulder on the road that we have to get around so we can continue our journey.

the-boulder

I lied to her. Of course, I felt differently. Angry and scared, I was enraged. I hated that cancer is now back to try and take away another member of my family.

After some time, it was decided that we will try to go to her, see her and help her with her recovery. As the eldest, I was tasked to go first.

Fast forward to June of this year, I boarded the plane to finally see my mom after 3 years of separation. I have no expectations and my foremost thought and prayer was that she will be fine. She will still be there. She’s hanging on to life and that I will see her soon.

When I did saw her, my heart broke. She was so thin. She shaved her head and was looking fragile. I can only hide my heartbreak and simply show how happy I was. Happy and grateful for the chance to see her again and be with her.

My mom was not the most open person that I knew. Ever since I was young, she always seemed calm and collected. She only sheds her tears in private. It was how she was brought up. As the only girl in the family, she was sheltered and taught that she must always look a certain part. Modest, demure, meek and calm. She has never thrown a tantrum or shown how deeply she feels in public.

She makes very few friends. Selective and careful, she hates being talked about. More so with the rise of social media. She doesn’t even want people to know what was happening to her.

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I am obviously not like her. Where she was reserved, I was outrageous. I dance to my own tune and hardly listen to anyone. I hold myself accountable for my choices and stand by them. If they don’t sit well with others, I don’t really give it much thought.

We are opposites in so many ways and yet, we fit. I came from her womb and her blood runs through mine. My features are meshed from her and my father. My sense of calm and strength are from her. I admire her tenacity and work ethics. She is career-oriented and a goal-achiever. Sadly, I am not like her in that way. Still, my love for life and appreciation for simple moments of laughter, joy and peace make up for that.

For the next two months, I learned more about her than I would in my 40 years. She also helped me recover my confidence and belief in myself. For quite some time, I thought that dating was out of the picture for me. She had shown me that I was still attractive and that I still have the capacity to love romantically.

My short time with her greatly improved her health. Now that my sister is there with her, I’m sure that the road to recovery from this illness will be smoother.

Today, here in my living room, writing this down, I feel good. I am hopeful. I am grateful. I have been to many places and have met a lot of new people. I realized that the world is within my reach. My love for travel has been rekindled. My sense of adventure has been stoked. I feel as if I have been given a new chance to change everything. To grab life and really enjoy living.

There is much to do still. Getting around that boulder on the road was not easy but it was done. The rest of the road looms ahead, beckoning for a future unknown.

I look forward to the next journey and adventure.