The Frustration of Dreams

They say that every night, we dream. There are some dreams that we remember when we wake up but most of them, we forget. Last week and the other night, I had two dreams I could not forget because both of them involved the Best Man.

The first one was a scene wherein it seemed that the Best Man and I were working in the same company. This dream seemed to be a continuation of the other one I recently had that prompted me to write this. I saw him eating in a cafeteria and when I was about to be at his table, the scene changed and he was already walking far away from me. I walked after him and then suddenly, we were in a cubicle. He was sitting on a desk and when I arrived, he smiled. Then we talked about the weather and I commented that his hair was thinning and he laughingly said that receeding hairline was in his family.

Then he took my hand out and placed a rosary in it. He simply looked at me and smiled.

I woke up perplexed. I didn’t know exactly what it meant but I knew that God was using him to make me pray the rosary. I changed my profile picture on Facebook into that of Our Lady of the Holy Rosary and downloaded audios of the rosary.

I now pray the rosary every morning. I pray for my family, I pray for help and guidance, I pray for love.

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The Best I Ever Had

Recently, I have been busy but something happened that I absolutely had to blog about.

I learned that the Best Man was no longer here in CDO. He’s now in Dubai with his sister. I was stunned yet I felt glad. This could mean that he has finally grown up.

That night, I dreamt of the Best Man (yet again). It seemed that we were working together in a place. However, each time I try to talk to him, he had to leave already. In my dream, I only saw him once facing me and then all the while, i kept seeing his back.

I think I was chasing him but I could never reach him.

Inadvertly, I felt that this was the reality of it all. I wasn’t able to let go of him fully until now.

I am pathetic. I was hoping that he would notice me. After all this time, he can still make my heart race. Yet, I also know that it’s over. I can give up now.

So here’s a song that reminds me of bittersweet memories and a lost love…