I’m in a nightmare.

Heaven is so sick. I’m praying and praying.

Lord please heal my child. She is my life. You gave her to me but please don’t take her yet.

I would give up anything just to make her well.

Hear my prayer, Jesus. Mama Mary, please don’t abandon us.

Estudyante Blues

Most people would think that as a student, I would have it easy. I don’t work, I answer only to myself and I can basically do anything I want and get away with it because I’m young and unwise. To make bad decisions is the norm. I leave the pros and cons with adults.

To be young again is what most people want. I, on the other hand, can’t wait to become an adult. From my point of view, they can do what they want. Most of the time. If they don’t get caught, they could become people with enough power to boss everybody else around. A kid simply can’t do that.

Although, I can also see why most kids my age would like to become a star. A rock star, a fashion model, become part of a boy band, or simply one of those teenage idols all teens my age follow and fawn over.

Their influence is staggering.

They make selfies a must-do, they have made partying like a bachelor’s degree you must earn based on how many parties you have thrown or been. They make hook-ups as the next best thing and everything else is secondary.

As a student, I sometimes wonder why most of my teachers still hold on to outdated ideals that I don’t even abide.It’s sickening to listen to them talk of the past and how good life was before our generation. It’s like they have never heard the expression, “move on”.

Life would be so much easier if they could see what I see. Everything is gray. There’s no more right or wrong, black or white. The change they wanted then has happened. We are the result of all their struggles. We are a generation of maybes, bisexuals, hedonists and yolo.

They should be proud of us.

Still, as a student, I struggle. Between their expectations, my desires and the entire world looking at me whether I stumble or fall, I still carry on.

So maybe I smoke or drink. So I did hook up with this guy or girl just to see what’s the fuss was all about. So I party and I play DOTA all day and night when I want to.

In the end, I answer to me. I sleep with my thoughts in my head. I see where my decisions would lead me and I want to go there. I want to make mistakes and I want to succeed. I want to fail and I want to try again.

This is my life. This is how I want it to be.