At 4am

I’m stuck.

For the past few weeks, I have been in a funk. Although I can still function the way I usually do but a lot of things have been bugging me lately.

I think it’s because of my period.

Or maybe it’s just me being a worrywart.

I feel terrible and even dancing is not helping so here I am, blogging my cares away.

With each day that passes, I am beginning to feel quite useless. And I know that it’s because my stint as a substitute teacher will end this month of November. The idea of not knowing whether I’ll become permanent is killing me.

There’s nothing I can do about it except to pray.

Praying does help since I am in a state of peace after praying but then it lapses from time to time.

Sigh. I do want this to change. I want to become hopeful again.

*** *** ***

We finally had our Halloween celebration. It was a success! My nieces decorated my uncle’s home and we all dressed up in different costumes.

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I was lucky enough to secure a costume from one of my students. Who else but Avatar Korra? I was so happy that it fitted me like a glove! Although I’m the fatter version of Avatar Korra, I didn’t care much. I was happy.

heavenwithch

Heaven was dressed in a witch’s costume (made by moi). There were broken dolls, Frankenstein, the Joker, Harlequin, a hanged man, vampires, zombies, a skeleton, Dracula, witches, warlocks and more! It was a happy night with fun and games. We also had performances from my uber talented relatives.

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I did the face paint of my dad, stepmom, uncle, Heaven and her cousins.

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In the midst of it all, we prayed for the souls of our departed loved ones (I miss you, Echik!)

*** *** ***

This week at school was pure stress. I’m doing my best to manage all the reports needed but man, I am bushed! Seriously, I’m not yet even done and more and more kept on coming. My skill at multitasking is being challenged as hell.

I was invited to give a talk today for a leadership training that my students have but I don’t know if my dad would allow me to go out. Sigh, Saturdays and Sundays are really sacred. It’s my only time to be with Heaven and my family. However, I am also thinking that the speakership would enhance my chances of becoming a permanent teacher.

Lord, please give me Your wisdom.

*** *** ***

I recently joined this online dating site. It’s nice although nothing has been happening. I had several profile views but none of the guys have piqued my interest yet. I’m not giving up though. I was convinced by my mom to simply start dating online and then my cousin Jetjet told me to try the dating site. Then I noticed that my guardian angel, St. Raphael the Archangel, was the site’s patron saint! It’s as if, God really wanted me to join there. 🙂

So there it goes. Stuff.

I also had to make new steps for our dance on February 2015. Still watching the videos and learning the original steps and trying to recreate it on my own.

I’m still in a funk.

Or maybe I’m just hungry.

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