“When I am writing, I am trying to find out who I am.”

This is why I write…Rest in God, Maya Angelou.

The Daily Post

Maya Angelou by Spanglej, CC BY-SA 2.0.Maya Angelou by Spanglej, CC BY-SA 2.0.

Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.

Find a beautiful piece of art. If you fall in love with Van Gogh or Matisse or John Oliver Killens, or if you fall love with the music of Coltrane, the music of Aretha Franklin, or the music of Chopin — find some beautiful art and admire it, and realize that it was created by human beings just like you, no more human, no less.

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.

When I am writing, I am trying to find out who I am, who we are, what we’re capable of, how…

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Monday Gimik

Today, Heaven and I went to file my NC II certification at the Tesda regional office. I was quite pleased with the service rendered by our Tesda officials. Courteous and friendly, they asked me to return the following week to get my certificate. Awesome! I thought it would take me a month of waiting.

Later on, we met Gra at Something Sweet and then had an early dinner at Redtail Shrimps & More.

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It was a scrumptious meal. We ordered a pound of shrimps in Redtail sauce and pork kebabs.

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Thank you, Ninang Gracielle for the wonderful date.

Dream Dates

A sunset dinner on the beach…

It’s one of those nights when I can gather some of my thoughts. After watching a romantic flick on HBO, I mentally listed down what my dream dates would be. I have come up with this list:

  • Dinner by the sea. A clear night sky, the cool breeze, a table for two. It would be a great way to know someone better. Not much people to make talking easier and both me and my date can actually focus on each other. Later on, maybe a walk on the beach can be arranged.
  • A dinner and movie. Hopefully, it would be at a nice restaurant, known for its great cuisine. Then a romantic comedy flick that can put me at ease. Maybe some coffee afterwards.
  • A day at an outdoor bookstore. Since I love books, a quiet afternoon with my fave authors would be delightful. Hopefully, there’s a place wherein you can actually read a book while sipping iced coffee or tea. It would be nice to know what kind of books my date would choose to read with me.
  • A museum tour. It can be art, artifacts or plain history, I wouldn’t care. I love learning about the past and seeing them come alive before me. That would be a treat.
  • Nature-trippin’. A visit to the zoo, or a nature park will do. I love nature and if my date shares the same sentiment then that would be awesome.
  • Cycling. This would not do on a first date but maybe on the fourth or fifth one. It has been ages since I last rode a bicycle. I would be trusting my date not to let me fall flat on the pavement. However, the pleasures of cycling is not lost to me. Besides, this can also help us both be fit and healthy.

I guess, that’s it. These are all realistic enough that it can happen. There’s no harm in dreaming, anyway.

Come back to me

It was all a blur to me. I could hear her screaming and trying her best to get away from me. She really doesn’t get it at all. There’s no other way. This was the only way I can be with the love of my life.

When she left me without saying goodbye, I hid my feelings of hurt, anger and despair from everyone. She was my light, she was my reason for being. I used to believe that our love was pure and true. Then somehow, everything went wrong.

Now, she’s gone.

But I know how to make her come back to me.

The cold and heavy knife I held jerked me to the present. I must be brave. I must not falter in what I’m about to do.

Her pitiful whimpers were music to my ears. Soon, my love will be flying back home, asking for my forgiveness for slinking away like a thief in the night. Soon.

I held her down forcefully. My legs pinning her down as she tries to escape from my death grip.

Her final words were pleas of mercy that fell on deaf ears.

“Papa, please don’t kill me!!!”

Our seven year old daughter would make my wife come back to me. This, I am sure of.

At First Sight

It was an ordeal that I could have missed altogether. The choice was there but deep down, it was never really a matter of choosing. It was simply an inevitable series of events that led me to the operating table. Dazed as they cut me open and panicking at the thought of people simply throwing my flap of skin to expose my uterus.

I did not really get it at first. It was too cold and too quiet. I could feel the icy slab of the operating table and hear the ticking of the seconds hand of the clock.

Then a loud cry erupted.

I dimly heard them say that it’s time to sew me up.

I woke up and saw her.

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The Guy Friend Phenomenon

When someone gets to be placed in the “friend zone”, they seem to think it’s a bad thing. I, for one, think otherwise.

I’m proud to say that some of my true friends are guys. They teach me great lessons in life and in love. They are brutally honest, are not afraid to mince words and call me out when I’m making a fool out of myself or I’m about to do something stupid.

This is pretty much what my girl BFFs do as well. However, women friends can be cautious and tactful. The men, not so much.

I’m lucky enough to have met guys whom I was attracted to at first, but somehow, a friendship blossomed that surpassed those feelings. In my youth, I acted on some of them and lost the friendship but after a few scrapes, it seemed wiser to simply become friends and the rewards are priceless.

I have several guy friends that I can consider friends for life. They are amazing men who eventually married and started their own families. They are successful in varying degrees in their chosen careers and are pretty much the salt of the earth. What makes them a blessing is when we do meet or get together, they continue to look out for me and care for me like they would for a sibling.

Not many people can truly get our relationship. Some still raise their eyebrows or even press imaginary issues of what ifs and why nots. Surprisingly, we can take it in stride and move on with life as it is.

Here’s a video on how truly rewarding it is to nurture a friendship with the opposite sex.

Care to agree or disagree on this?

Only in my mind

This morning I woke up feeling blessed. My daughter lay sleeping beside me and I could not help my heart swell with love. I cannot imagine my life without her. She gives me hope, laughter, adventure and joy of being alive.
Last Thursday, we went to the mall and to her delight, she was able to ride a pony. She thoroughly enjoyed it because the person who was manning the ride actually played with her. His name was kuya Angel.
I truly appreciated what he did because I had a shopping cart with me that I could not leave behind as Heaven was riding the mechanical pony.
Life is truly beautiful. A simple moment can be pure happiness to a little girl. I’m truly blessed that she has learned to appreciate the joy of being a child. I can only pray that all children can be like that but I also know that the world can also be a cruel place. As a mother, I can only shield her up to a certain extent. May God guide all mothers to be champions of love.

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Something Borrowed, Something New

This post inspired to go out and look for my magic dress. The one that will make me feel like a supermodel every time I wear it.

Breach of Close

Lou Gaillot by Rumi Matsuza Lou Gaillot by Rumi Matsuza

Nearly all of us have clothes that make us feel attractive, even sexy, a motorcycle jacket, say, or a satin slip and lace garter belt. For some it’s nylon running shorts, for others a well-tailored suit. However, fetishists aside, it is the rare item of clothing with the power to physically arouse us through the mere act of putting it on.

There were two points in my life where I had such rare clothes. The first was a pair of pants that I asked my mother to buy me when I was 10 years old.

I’ve long forgotten what they were called, if I ever knew. Now we’d call them two-tone tonic, I suppose. For me back then, they were just iridescent. My uncle Leonard had taught me the word one day when we were looking at a beetle. Iridescence, he said. The colors of beetles…

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My Favorite Romantic Authors

I want them all!!!!

As an avid reader, it seems only logical that I would eventually create a list of my favorite books and authors. To narrow down my list, I started to tackle my favorite romance novelists. Here’s my list in no particular order:

  1. Julie Garwood – I just reread “Prince Charming” and was once again swept by the words written by this amazing author. The plot was nice, the characters truly endearing and their conversations were witty and funny. I particularly loved the Claybornes. I’m still looking for that book series. I read the “For the Roses” back in high school and I only have one book in my possession now, “One Pink Rose”.
  2. Judith McNaught – I can’t help but love her because she wrote the first romance novel where it brought me to tears. It was entitled “Double Standards”. Afterwards, I got hooked when she wrote “Paradise”. I could not help it since the heroine bore my name. The story was heart-wrenching and its characters truly loveable. I actually dreamed of meeting my own Matt Farrell.
  3. Johanna Lindsey – This list won’t be complete without here. In my eyes, period romances, adventures in the desert and time travel began to have its appeal when she started writing. Sadly, I don’t own any of her books, for now.
  4. Jude Deveraux – Another talented author whom I also love because she can take you to another world. I feel as if I’m actually there in the book’s setting. Whether it’s in England, Scotland or anywhere else.

There are definitely a lot of great authors of romance however these four are my top picks. Authors like Jackie Collins, Danielle Steele and Sidney Sheldon are also on my list but their books often do not center on romance but in all aspect of human interaction. Still, they are also part of my list.

I’ll soon create another list for another genre of authors I love reading.

Among the four authors, which one is your favorite?