Gone too soon

I was running late. For the first time, I left my watch at home. I have no idea what the time was. I thought to myself, “It’s okay. I’m mad at time, anyway.”

I was rushing everything and went to the covered court where the rest of the student body was. It was time for our flag ceremony.

I walked with my head down. I did not want to meet anyone’s eyes and have to answer why I’m not made up or why my eyes were swollen. Still, I had to answer politely for every “Good morning, teacher.” a student says.

The ceremony just about started. My phone started to beep incessantly. I answered it immediately after I saw that it was my other sister Monina who calling.

I said hello and then I broke down and cried.

My sister Anna died at 7:10 am on July 10, 2012.

It was literally like someone punched me in the stomach. I have always thought that writing those words now was a cliche but now I realize that the truth literally hurt.

I ran away from everyone and went to the faculty room to simply bawl my eyes out.

After explaining to the assistant principal what has happened, I took a leave of absence, bought a ticket for Manila and packed.

Now, I’m done with the packing. I was rummaging for pictures of my sister and me and realized that I don’t have much.

Why did I have to take so many stupid pictures of places I have been when I should have taken more pictures of my sister?!?ย 

Note to self. You can’t take too many pictures of your family.

This is an awful post because it’s an awful time. I hate the fact that she’s gone. I hate it. I know that she’s at peace now. No more pain. No more suffering. She has been an angel here on earth. She never complained to me about what she’s going through. Not once. She was just happy.

I can’t even be happy for her.

I’m such a terrible sister.

Between the two of us, she acts more mature and was simply wonderful. She was a calm soothing presence in any room. She loves unconditionally and waits patiently for everyone.

I remember teasing her about this one guy who kept looking at her during church service. She blushed furiously and denied that the guy wanted to know her name or make chit-chat. She was such an innocent, still.

I miss her. A lot.

I love you, Echick. Always and forever.

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