i’m here beside you at 3am in the morning. i just finished my work. i have some more things to do but you keep on crying in your sleep so i decided to simply stay near you.
did you know that we recently had a fight? it was over everything and nothing. guess who ran crying to her parents? me. yes, you made me cry. it was horrible. you were mean to me.
nevertheless, i am supposed to experience that. babies somehow become naughty and will test you. you can’t be the sweetest baby forever.
i’m writing to tell you that i’m sorry when i raise my voice to discipline you. i even sometimes give you a tiny spank which makes me uber guilty. this is the one skill i have to really learn. how to discipline you with love, patience and with a firm yet gentle hand. i feel such a terrible mom for not knowing. should i spoil you and spare the rod?
for now, i seek guidance from my own parents. i do remember that my dad only spanked me once when i was 9 or 10 years old. i remember my mom also spanked me when i was 4 or 5. that was as far as my memory would serve me. so i guess, i will do my best not to spank you. so i’m honing my communication skills right now as to how to let you understand when NO means NO.
sleep well, beb. i love you so much. i will try to be a good mommy.
trying hard mama,
I’m still at work. Writing about how to get nice skin with fruits. You can check out the articles I wrote here, under the author name Cheskarr.
In my R is for Rogue blog, I wanted to write something on breast cancer since it’s October. Unfortunately, it’s already October 29. Soon October will end. Oh well.
I’m feeling so…uhm…I don’t know.
I was hungry earlier and I ate a whole bag of Oishi Prawn Crackers. Food trip. I miss junk foods.
Anyhow, I now go back to writing healthy and eating healthy like cherries, plums and raisins. We even have tons of lanzones and I just ate durian yesterday.
I now realize that our house has become a fruit salad bowl.
Need to just work then sleep. Sigh.
You’re welcome! God Bless!
SCREAM for HALLOWEEN!!!
No one really told me that come around ten months, your little angel becomes a hellion. Yes, my once happy, timid and jolly baby has now become a crying, grouchy and will no longer listen to me baby monster. Could it be because Halloween is just around the corner?
I don’t know. I am simply astonished on her tantrums and naughtiness. Yesterday, my patience broke and after withstanding another bickering with her (yes, my 10-month old baby shouts back at me), I threw down the towel and admitted defeat. I cried. I honestly didn’t want her around me. It was a horrible horrible moment.
They said that postpartum can happen anytime from birth to two years and maybe, yesterday was mine. I felt so down and depressed. Was I a bad mother? I have such a hard time disciplining her because honestly, Heaven knows what “No” means and yet, she always goes out of her way to taunt me each time I tell her “No”. Remember that scene in finding Nemo when Marlin asked nemo not to put his fin on the boat and Nemo gave Marlin a look and did it anyway? Well, that’s what Heaven does to me. Every time.
So now, here I am. Ranting. And simply wondering what could I be doing wrong? Should I play with her some more? Should I simply give in to her demands? Being a parent is just tricky.
For now, I can only pray that when she’s 11 month old, she would have passed this terrible stage.
Good night, world!