I know that when the second trimester comes, I would feel less pregnant even though I am looking more pregnant everyday. Here’s the deal, during my first trimester, my libido was nil. Surprised me a lot. Surprised my friends even more. I get really mushy especially when it comes to my crushes. I gush about them a lot and if I could, I would fake a swoon in front of the guy, just so he would notice me. After I got my pregnant, I seem to have lost my radar for great-looking men!

One incident that came to mind was when I worked with my long-time male model crush. We were with other male and female models plus other performers for three days. All throughout the trip, he was flirting with me. On the last day of our trip, he actually offered himself to me. All the while, I was oblivious. I just regarded his actions as funny and weird. When I told my friends, they all but slap me senseless because of what happened. It was only then did I realize that my hormones were not working right.

When I reached my fourth month, I started looking at pictures of my ex-boyfriend. I liked looking at his face. I kept thinking of him and though I already scolded myself several times, I can’t seem to help it. To add, I just watched 300 (super hunks! 300 manly men with awesome bods!) and the entire season 1 and season 2 of Meteor Garden just so I can watch Jerry Yan (sigh, I still want to be his Shancai).


I now have Summer Scent and My Girl lined up. I don’t know why but I am longing to watch them all over again. Honestly, I’m just looking forward to seeing all the cute leading men. My libido hasn’t come back but at least now, I’m aware of guys again.

What is wrong with me?

Being pregnant is full of mystery.


I can now feel the baby move and yes, just like it said in the book What to Expect When You’re Expecting, it does feel like there’s a balloon inside.

Pregnancy tips not from my doctor

Ever since I became pregnant, everyone has been giving me the weirdest advices.

I’m now nearing my 5th month and honestly, I feel like I’m not pregnant at all. Thus, I keep asking the people around me if they think that I am still pregnant. I know it’s a stupid thing to do. Heck, my belly is still huge and I still get hungry a lot but I hardly feel anything except for some twinge or so and sometimes, it’s like I just have gas inside my tummy.

Here are a few pregnancy stuff I was told to follow and believe:

  1. If your tummy itches, NEVER scratch with your nails. This will lead to ugly stretch marks. Use a comb or a hair brush instead.
  2. Don’t eat eggplants. They will make your tummy itchier.
  3. Stop drinking carbonated drinks. This will make you fat and the baby’s head big.
  4. No eating of salty food. This will make your hands and feet swell.
  5. Don’t let anybody eat from your food. They will become drowsy and will want to sleep like a pregnant lady.
  6. Don’t visit cemeteries.
  7. Don’t watch gory stuff. Nothing bloody or scary.
  8. Don’t stay up late because the baby will follow your sleeping habit after he/she is born.
  9. Put earphones on your tummy and let the baby listen to classical music.
  10. Walk, walk and walk. Especially on the last trimester.

Some of these I actually follow but some are plain silly to me. Anyhow, what’s important is I’m grateful that my family and relatives are concerned and involved in my pregnancy. Of course, I will still ask my obgyne on my next visit about these just to be sure.

Twitterin’ and tinkerin’

After ten days of applying to numerous online writing gigs, I received only two replies and it resulted to two rejections. Sigh. Why ever did I think that this freelance writing thing will be easy?

Anyhow, I deleted my Plurk and joined Twitter instead. I’m excited to use Twitter and see how this can help me in my quest on finding an online job. I’m also reading up on Payperpost.  I’m interested on how it works and I wonder if this could be a lucrative venture as well. I am so regretting why I deleted my previous blog of three years. Somehow, that ugly incident of someone leaving mean and spiteful comments on my blog scared me off. Although, I am now back in the blogging world (which I totally missed), I am still quite wary but right now, I have no choice. I have to follow my heart and heed the call of my near empty pockets.

Good luck to me, I know. For now, I have to build up traffic for my new blog and make new friends. Have a nice day!

a whole new world

my world has definitely changed. it’s due to this little person who is growing inside me. i’ve been to my aunt’s funeral recently and it was quite difficult not to let the sadness wash over me. with God’s grace, my family received the news with calm and understanding. some were even joyful while others are apprehensive and disappointed.

i am now 4 months pregnant going to my 5th. my tummy itches like there’s a million feathers brushing against it. ugh! they are all watching my every move and whatever it is i put in my mouth. i’m trying hard not to laze around but sometimes it’s hard when i feel dizzy or just plain sleepy.

i’m still jobless but i’m not giving up hope. i continue to email people for jobs posted online and go on searching for more. however the expenses in my pregnancy is now slowly becoming clear to me. the milk, Anmum (which i have to drink as per all my pregnant cousins and friends) is quite expensive. then my aunt just mentioned that the baby’s milk is even more. eek! i pray i’ll find the right job that can provife well enough for me and the baby.

i still don’t know the baby’s sex. maybe next month when i go for my check-up. as for the names, well, i’m also stumped on that department. i’m kinda leaning to Heaven…

back in KK

i went to singapore and KL recently…all the while, i was thinking of someone i was not supposed to think of. i think it’s because i’m going home soon. i even sent a blank sms to him on the night we became a couple. we would have celebrated our 2nd year anniversary. i’m so not over him. no wonder i also cannot retire Z.B. i should really give him to someone else or something so i can move on but i keep on holding on to him. how crappy is that?

i miss my dad. and it irks me that i have to be in manila for a while before i see him in cdo. if i can finish everything i need to do in a week, i would fly to cdo right away. i wanna see him. i also miss my mom. but i kinda dread seeing her coz when she sees how fat i am…oh well…

i miss all my friends and family. i’m just scared of the new journey i’m embarking upon. i’m single, unmarried, pregnant and will soon be unemployed. will there even be a company who will take me on even if i’m 4-5 months pregnant?

i’m thankful and grateful for all the good grace i received from God. i’m hopeing He will continue to be my guiding light in the unknown road before me.