vivid dreams

so i heard that when you’re pregnant, you get the most vivid dreams. they forgot to tell me that they could be erotic. i read about baby dreams, labour dreams, women giving birth to full grown people, dreams on cars, buildings and others. they didn’t mention i could also dream of totally hot men!

it happened twice to me already. last week was this super duper hot mestizo guy who was uber tall and handsome. he looked like all my ex-boyfriends best feature combined.sigh. and in my dream he was my boyfriend and he couldn’t stop kissing me in public. plus, he doesn’t really care i’m pregnant.

then last night, i dreamt of Hugh Jackman. and he was also my boyfriend and even though we have a scene wherein he’s naked, we just laid beside each other, hugging and aaah! i was floating. like wow, what a body. he was also my boyfriend and in my dream, he asked me to marry him. yay! i was about to tell him yes when my aunt started aking me up coz we will be going to Gaya Street to look and buy stuff.

hihihihi…i totally loved my dreams.

in the real world, the father of my baby is now dating someone who i think will soon become his new gf. hats off to him. he can really easily find someone new so fast. in a way, i’m glad i guess. hopefully, his ex-gf will stop bashing me to everyone who wants to hear her tragic love story when she finally sees i’m not the one who replaced her.

sometimes, i do want to just be done with him. like really just cut off everything. the only way we communicate right now is online. we don’t text or call or see each other coz everyone is making sure we don’t communicate anymore. they have a point, i know that. self-preservation, pride and concern so nobody else will get hurt (like his ex-gf). sigh. maybe i should. besides, he’s not interested in our baby anyway.

it puzzles me that some guys can just not care even if it’s their own flesh and blood. maybe coz we were both not in love with each other. infatuated we both were but no love lost.

still, in the end, there’s this miracle, this tiny person inside me who is now 12 weeks and 3 days! very exciting and wonderful! i really can’t wait to see him or her. life is good.

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2 comments

  1. at the end of the day whether you are married or not, you will have that baby and that is the most important thing. Leave the father behind, obviously, he doesn’t care and wouldn’t be much of a father figure anyway. Your responsibility now falls on you and how you raise your child.
    Happy for you chesh! 🙂

    Like

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