so i have been doing some reading recently. the twilight saga. yesh i know. it’s very mushy. it’s sow me.
it’s something to keep me occupied and i’m glad. in the real world, the father of my baby who i shall now refer to “the one who cannot be named” is in love. did not come as a shock coz i expected this to happen. it pricked a bit but it’s cool. for a few moments, he did make me feel special. i’m just glad also in a way that he is now irrevocably out of my life.
me finding out that my ex had a new gf has more impact. i actually dread going back to my hometown with the possibility of seeing him with her, looking ever so in love and happy. shit.
and of course, to add that, i’m scared to actually face everybody home. will they look at me with pity? or label me as a failure? now i wonder what my bestfriends really feel about this. me in this situation. maybe they will be ashamed to be seen with me or something. cripes. this is totally depressing me.
It breaks your heart to see the one you love is happy
with someone else, but it’s more painful to know that
the one you love is unhappy with you.
i read this somewhere….and it’s really true. better to just let go than ask the person you love to stay but super unhappy with you…though of course, i can go selfish and insist on my own way. sigh. loving is hard. truly hard.